Can one file a police report about elementary school sex indoctrinators? (Satire... sort of)
Let's imagine what such a phone complaint might sound like.
FX: Ring… ring…
“911 what is your emergency?”
“Hi, yes, I’m calling to report that an adult down the street has been talking to my six-year-old about sex.”
“Oh my God! That’s awful! Tell me about the situation.”
“Well, my daughter, Emily, has been coming home telling me that Mr. Peacedove, that’s what he calls himself, has been telling her and other children her age about sex.”
“Unbelievable. Have you seen this individual? Can you describe him?”
“Yes, he’s white, middle aged, has purple hair, and last time I saw him he was wearing a Che Gueverra T-shirt.”
“Wow, that’s a good description. And you say this individual has been talking to other children about sex?”
”Yes, Emily told me that he really likes to talk to children her age, from around age 5-9, about sex, and what he enjoys doing with his partner, and such.”
“Oh my God. This must be very traumatic to your daughter.”
“Not exactly. She comes home and talks about nothing but sex, sexual activity, gender identity, and how much she looks forward to being able to marry her girlfriend, then transition into a boy so they can have a baby together.”
“But you say she’s only six?”
“Yes, her birthday was two weeks ago.”
“Unbelievable. Please give me your name and address, so I can dispatch officers to go take your statement.”
“My name is Heather Diperna, and we live at 1249 Maplewood Street.”
“OK, and did your daughter tell you where she encounters this individual, and when?”
“Yes, right down the street, at Maplewood Elementary School.”
“You mean this perpetrator stalks your Emily and her friends in the school yard, and no one has complained? Ugh, incidents like this make me so angry! Why don’t people take responsibility to protect children?!?!?!”
“No, you don’t understand. He’s a teacher there.”
[Silence]
“Wait, you mean you’re calling to complain about a teacher that’s doing what you allege, but in a classroom environment?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, well, sorry, that’s a different matter. Sorry, I cannot take a report on that.”
“What do you mean?! You were just very upset based on what I described!”
“That was a different situation, ma’am. What you’re describing is a necessary part of this state’s new, revised sex education and tolerance indoctrination program, passed by the legislature a few weeks ago.”
“So you’re saying that it’s okay for an adult to talk to my little girl about sex, and what he and his partner like to do, and there’s nothing you’re going to do?”
“That’s correct, ma’am. The teacher must have completed the required four hours of ‘Woke’ instruction, to ensure that he explains modern sexuality and tolerance issues to 5-9 year olds in a way that was thoughtfully designed by a majority of Woke educators.”
“I don’t want any adult to talk to my child about sex, or what they like to do with their partners!”
“I’m sorry, ma’am, but since the Woke Sex Instruction Act of 2022, you have no right to intervene when the school to which your child has been assigned by government, decrees it’s time for her to be indoctrinated in sex issues.”
“This is crazy! I am her mother! I will decide when and how the issue of sex is introduced to her!”
“Ma’am, I am obligated to inform you that you are now in violation of the Domestic Subversion Act of 2021, which makes it a criminal offense to challenge or oppose any government decree that deals with child indoctrination in state-run schools. I am now dispatching officers to bring you in for a refresher on the laws that govern this area, and Maplewood Elementary School.”
“Wait, you’re going to arrest me, but not Mr. Peacedove? Are you insane?’
“No one is being arrested, Mrs. Diperna, you are only being brought in for questioning. And no, no one is going to be arresting Mr. Peacedove, he is a public servant, doing what he is instructed to do by the local school board.”
“This is unbelievable…”
[KNOCK KNOCK]
“Mrs. Diperna, please open the door. We have a summons for you to join us at Police Headquarters for an interview.”
“I’m not going anywhere!”
“Ma’am, you’re just making things harder on yourself. Open up!”
Suggested Reading
Moment police 'with no search warrant' swooped on house of gender-critical Catholic mother and arrested her in front of her four children over 'series of anonymous posts on internet chat board', Daily Mail (UK), October 5, 2022.
Woman charged with trolling for misgendering a trans person on Twitter, Pink News, September 5, 2019.
White House is spreading lies about the 'Don't Say Gay' bill, NY Post, March 9, 2022.
Texas Teacher Claims 20 Fourth Graders Out Of 32 Students Identify As LGBTQ - The Daily Caller, March 29, 2022.
Disney’s Child-Predator Problem: Instead of promoting gender ideology, the company would be better served by addressing a longstanding history among its employees, Christopher F. Rufo, March 31, 2022.
Betrayed By the Magic Kingdom, Town Hall, March 30, 2022.
Gay kindergarten teacher on Florida law guarding parental rights: 'It scares me to death' that I won't be able to talk about 'my partner' to my students, The Blaze, March 29, 2022.
Georgia parent speaks out after confronting school board about sexually graphic book, Fox News, March 25, 2022.
How public schools brainwash young kids with harmful transgender ideology, NY Post, December 22, 2021.
6 Crazy School Responses To Parents Mad About LGBT Indoctrination, The Federalist, October 18, 2019.
California wants to teach kindergartners about gender identity. Seriously., Washington Post, May 13, 2019.
The Problem with Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity Indoctrination in Public Schools, Alliance Defending Freedom, October 17, 2017.
The Official Drag Queen Story Hour site (puts on performances in libraries and schools for children)
Mom scolds California school for allegedly coaching her 12-year-old into becoming trans, Fox 26 News (Fresno, CA), December 17th 2021
Drag queen with demon-like horns reads to children at Michelle Obama Neighborhood Library, The Blaze, October 17, 2017.
New Sex Ed ‘Common Core’ Would Force Explicit Images, Gender Mayhem, And Abortion On Kids, The Federalist, October 12, 2021.